It is always good to try something new and last week saw a new method of judging. We now have our very own Regan & Lacey. Our version of the good cop bad cop of photo critiquing Waterman & Bramham. Just as you think you may have a half decent image up comes Gordon to shoot you down in flames. Your artistic masterpiece won't pass the mustard with the judges, because cut something off or something on the edge of the frame, that no one else has noticed keeps drawing the eye.
Gordon introduced a quizz, which was really for anyone well into their seventies.
I don't think our average ages are quite that old. Someone called Arthur somebody, there were several guesses English, Askey, Mullard (he did have hit in 1978 with "Your The One That I Want" though he was not a singer, if you heard it you would know why)
Turns out it was Tracy. Spencer & Dick's brother.
The advanced section was back to our usual method, one person commenting. This was Dick's turn to impress us with his knowledge and experience. However, all did not go to plan, after admitting he was not an expert, while talking about an abstract of Brighton Pier. It all went wrong after that, his comments not matching the scores.
Never mind Dick, I had a word with John afterwards, next time you are critiquing he will whisper the score when he puts the print up, so that you can tailor your comments appropriately.
The still life competition always has me searching around the house looking for subjects to pose and photograph. It seems that other members do the same, and this gives an interesting insight as to what our members are like. Well the conclusion I have come to is that we are glutinous, alcoholic lot.
Avtar likes to have a little bit of a tipple, although he ensures me that it was cold tea and that he poured it all back after, well I will check next year as I have noted the levels on the bottles I will take a small amount into consideration for evaporation.
Then there was Iris's wine glasses, is that what the background looked like before or after she finished the bottle? or was it to do with the magic mushrooms in her other image?
Jean is in denial, and hides her G&T in a flower vase and blames the cut flowers. (Personally I pour mine on the lawn, so that it comes up half cut.)
Although we did get to see another spectacular image of her ashtray collection.
It appears John Hastings doesn't do much DIY as those screws looked a little bit too shiny for me.
Those of you that were hoping to borrow Sue's Ivory Chess set, make a copy with resin, then grind down the original to sell on the Chinese black market as an aphrodisiac, you're too late, how do you think she could afford all that camera equipment?
Let's Have Another Bottle, the lines might straighten.
Little did I realise when I arrived at the club on Tuesday evening that my sleepless nights would be over. No, I did not doze off during the presentation.
It was the answer to my horticultural nightmare. How was I going to get my grass cut. It is still growing thanks to the warm weather and the rain, but it is too wet to mow it. So it was great revelation to find that Bears ate grass, who knew?
Well obviously Derek Howes DPAGB did and probably Sir David Attenborough.
So I have ordered a couple of Bears from ebay, you're probably thinking why doesn't he buy some sheep they do the same thing, well they tend to poo anywhere and you have to pick it up, or you tread in it and it gets walked all over the house. Where as Bears, as we all know go in the woods. We have got a few trees over the road, so I can let them through the fence a couple of times a day they can do the business and come back. This will give our local burglars something to think about.
Of course they do hibernate, this is not too much of a problem as the grass hardly grows in the winter, but where do they hibernate? Derek Howes DPAGB was very vague on this point and Sir David nevers answers his emails. Then I remembered a documentary series when I was growing up about a couple of Bears in one of America's famous National Parks Jellystone, where did Yogi & Boo Boo hibernate? I think it was in one of chalets in the park when the visitors had left for the winter. I haven't got room for one of those in the garden but I have got a spare room, so I will chuck a couple of bales of straw in there, and turn up the central heating. It seems there is no need for a Midwife or Gas & Air or Epidurals.
As Bears cannot live on grass alone, I thought with a bit of investment I could introduce fish into their diet by re landscaping the garden, construct a stream a small waterfall and a water pump, then a couple of times a day I would throw in a few Goldfish at the top of the stream a let them drift downstream for the Bears to feast on.
I could recoup the money I have spent by charging photographers to come and photographing the Bears fishing, we have also got a few Magpies that come into the garden, just to make it a bit more authentic.
This will be a lot cheaper and more comfortable than spending a couple of weeks on a cramped boat in the freezing cold.
All I need now is to come up with a plan to accommodate a few Humpback Whales, my local fishmonger tells me he can get me as much Krill that I need.